i really let my Mistress down before the New Year and i have been very upset ever since, my stomach has been sick and i haven't been sleeping.

Tonight Mistress spoke to me and ordered me to cuff my left wrist to my right ankle, put on the hood and nipple clamps, then kneel against the wall and think about what i had done.

Kneeling there i felt so bad and hated myself for letting Mistress down, i felt worthless and wanted to be punished. But i knew that i need to do more to prove to Mistress that i really want to belong to Her. i know that i will never be happy without Her, She is wonderful and i ached all week thinking about Her.

i can't picture my life without Mistress, looking at my future without Her is sad and depressing. i want to prove to Her that i am committed to Her. i told my brother last night that i was submissive and he wasn't happy about it, but i don't care as long as my Mistress wants me.

i beg Her to keep me and teach me how to serve Her better.