Its Valentines Day and it was wonderful to chat to my Mistress, it had been so long, i missed Her so much.

W/we played a game using a dice. The rules where simple:
rolling a 1 - i get one point.
rolling a 2 - i have to drop to wax drop's on my nipples and get no points.
rolling a 3 - i get 3 points.
rolling a 4 - i get 10 spanks on my ass and get 4 points.
rolling a 5 - i get 2 wax drops on my balls and no points.
rolling a 6 - i get 6 points.
every 3 times i roll dice i have to spank ass 5 times.
every time i get exactly 10, 20, 30... points, i have to add a clamp onto body.
i get a reward for reaching 50, 100 or 200 points in an hour.


The game was going well until i rolled a 4 on my 3 third throw and forgot to give myself an extra 5 spanks. That was it, game over and i was punished for forgetting. my mind was getting lazy so i was fucked with no lube to make me remember to pay attention at all times.

i need Mistress's guidance and thank Her for punishing me, i can only eat bread and water tonight and have to sleep on the floor. i let Her down and learned my lesson. The next time i play the game i will remember the rules.

Mistress is continuing my ass training now, i have to wear the small butt plug in bed every night this week and then the medium plug during the day. i find wearing the small plug is fine and not too uncomfortable, i can sleep well with it in. i am finding wearing the medium plug difficult as my ass aches after a while. Also, i find that when i walk it works its way out sometimes and i have to push it back it, which can be very embarrassing when you are in the supermarket!

i really missed my Mistress while i was away, i wore my small plug most days under my cloths so i would be always reminded of Her. it is great to be back and serving my Mistress again :)

i spoke to Mistress tonight and i am sad as i am going away for a few days and i am going to miss my Mistress so much.

i am going to bring the small plug in my luggage and wear it every day in Her honour, i hope the time will go quickly and i will be home next tuesday morning, ready to serve my Mistress.

i haven't chatted to Mistress in a few days and i really miss Her, i so look forward to speaking to Her and i miss Her more and more.

i hope to speak to You soon Mistress

Fears and Fantasies

Fears

my biggest fear is losing my Mistress, to find such a wonderful Mistress as Mistress Anna is one in a million, and i realise how lucky i am to be owned by Her. i want to devote my life to Her and love Her and hope She loves me too.

my next biggest fear is failing to be the slave my Mistress wants me to be, the last thing i want to do is disappoint Her, i want Her to be proud of me.

One of my biggest fears used to be being deceived by a Mistress who is only playing at D/s and is not really serious and just wants to use me, but i am very lucky to be owned by a true natural Mistress who is helping me to grow as a submissive.

A big fear of mine is public humiliation, i mean humiliation in front of people outside the lifestyle. i feel that vanilla people just don't understand D/s and how loving it is, so i prefer to keep my submission private.

Another fear is extreme pain, i know that pain is good for a submissive but i still fear it.



Fantasies

The fantasy i always have is living with my Mistress as Her 24/7 slave and Her friend, to be there for Her every day, to love Her and be totally owned by Her. i dream of one day being married and living the rest of my life with my Mistress.

i used to dream of always wearing a symbol of my submission, something that always reminds me of my Mistress. This could be a necklace, bracelet, butt plug, or some kind of bondage under my cloths. This fantasy has now come true as i wear my slut collar on my arm under my cloths every day :)

i now dream of being out with my friends with my Mistress, wearing Her symbol and nobody knowing but U/us.

i also fantasise about living with my Mistress and pleasing Her every day, having no right to wear cloths without Her permission, kissing Her feet every morning and every time She enters the house.

i fantasise about my Mistress attaching a leash to my collar and leading me to the bedroom or playroom, where She will continue my on going training and teach how to please Her exactly how She wants.

i had a very nice chat with Mistress tonight and i told Her how happy She makes me and how lucky i am to serve Her. Mistress makes me complete, i am my true self with Her.

After our conversation Mistress ordered me to suck my dildo, then fuck myself until i ached and was very sore. i did this without complaining, it was difficult but it was my pleasure to obey.

When Mistress was happy, i was ordered to insert the butt plug and spank my ass until it was nice and red, then take the pic You can see.

Thank You Mistress.