i am ashamed of myself tonight. my Mistress gave me permission to masterbate because i am going away for the weekend and i wont see Her, and i let myself down by cumming without permission. i am such a stupid boy, i cant believe how disrespectful i was. i just hope Mistress will forgive me. i need to grow up and stop being so selfish.

i have been thinking about what it would be like to be living with my Mistress and being Her slave 24/7, it is something i ache for. To be able to worship Her every day would be so wonderful. After today i know that i have a long way to go before this will happen, i really disappointed Her. i want to learn to be a better slave and give myself totally into my Mistress's care, i want to make Her proud of me and want Her to love me as i love Her. But at the moment i am just a stupid worm with a cock. i want to grow as a slave and promise myself that i will. my Mistress deserves the best and i want to give Her that.