i really let my Mistress down before the New Year and i have been very upset ever since, my stomach has been sick and i haven't been sleeping.
Tonight Mistress spoke to me and ordered me to cuff my left wrist to my right ankle, put on the hood and nipple clamps, then kneel against the wall and think about what i had done.
Kneeling there i felt so bad and hated myself for letting Mistress down, i felt worthless and wanted to be punished. But i knew that i need to do more to prove to Mistress that i really want to belong to Her. i know that i will never be happy without Her, She is wonderful and i ached all week thinking about Her.
i can't picture my life without Mistress, looking at my future without Her is sad and depressing. i want to prove to Her that i am committed to Her. i told my brother last night that i was submissive and he wasn't happy about it, but i don't care as long as my Mistress wants me.
i beg Her to keep me and teach me how to serve Her better.
Saturday 5 January 2008
Saturday 29 December 2007
i had a good session with Mistress last night, W/we started off with spanking my ass with the paddle and moved onto wax play.Mistress gave me 50 drops of wax onto my balls. Mistress then ordered me to apply the clamps to my foreskin and lift up the cock for a pic, which you can see. The wax and clamps where quite painful, but it is my pleasure to suffer for Mistress.
After the training Mistress allowed me to sleep and ordered me to sleep while wearing the smaller butt plug. It was a bit uncomfortable and it took me quite a while to get to sleep, but Mistress gave me permission to masterbate which helped alot. my ass ached this morning and it was a relief to remove the plug.
Thursday 27 December 2007
i had a good Christmas with my family, it was the usual - too much food lol
It would have been a great Christmas if i had been with my Mistress, but Mistress was with Her family, hopefully next year W/we will be together.
Mistress ordered me to be plugged all Christmas day, which i was, with the small butt plug. The plug made me think of Mistress all day, i ached for Her and felt completely owned, it was wonderful :-)
It would have been a great Christmas if i had been with my Mistress, but Mistress was with Her family, hopefully next year W/we will be together.
Mistress ordered me to be plugged all Christmas day, which i was, with the small butt plug. The plug made me think of Mistress all day, i ached for Her and felt completely owned, it was wonderful :-)
Monday 24 December 2007
i showed Mistress my new toys last night and W/we had a great session, Mistress is bringing out the true sub in me and i am so happy to be owned by Her.
i put on my new collar for the first time last night, it was such a wonderful feeling, it is hard to describe - it was pure bliss, i totally surrendered to Her and felt complete once i put the collar on.
Mistress then told me to put on my new hood, the ball gag and nipple clamps. Mistress then told me to write 'Happy Xmas' on my chest, which you can see in my previous post. i was so happy to do this, it feels so wonderful to be owned by Her.
Mistress then had me try my new butt plugs, with lube. The small one was really comfortable and when Mistress ordered me to sit (i always kneel before Mistress), it was still comfortable. So Mistress ordered me to use the bigger plug, this was ok while i was kneeling but was uncomfortable when i sat. i could feel my ass being stretched and it ached.
Mistress then ordered me to attached the nipple clamps to my foreskin and the chain around the chair, so i could pull back and stretch my foreskin until the clamps where pulled off. This was very painful, and i repeated it 3 times to please Mistress. To suffer pain for Her is my pleasure.
After 10 mins of having the bigger plug in, Mistress ordered me to use my dildo without lube. i removed the plug and got on my back with legs spread and fucked my ass for Mistress, and i was able to do it for the fist time without lube on the dildo. my ass had been opened by the plug and was still a little lubed, so i could fuck myself for a while before it became really painful. i do not receive physical pleasure from this, my pleasure comes from obeying my Mistress. Mistress enjoys seeing my ass used and i enjoy obeying Her.
Afterwards as i knelt before Mistress, She ordered me to remove the ball gag and plug my mouth with the small butt plug. Previously to tonight i would have hesitated, but now that i am wearing Her collar i just put it in my mouth. Luckily my ass was clean and i could only taste lube, i still gaged though and it was very difficult to keep it in my mouth. i then had to do the same with the bigger butt plug and the dildo, but it did it and i felt happy that i did. i didn't enjoy it at all and gaged alot, but i obeyed Mistress and that is all the counts.
i felt proud of myself and so happy to be owned by a wonderful Mistress.
Happy Christmas Mistress xxxx
i put on my new collar for the first time last night, it was such a wonderful feeling, it is hard to describe - it was pure bliss, i totally surrendered to Her and felt complete once i put the collar on.
Mistress then told me to put on my new hood, the ball gag and nipple clamps. Mistress then told me to write 'Happy Xmas' on my chest, which you can see in my previous post. i was so happy to do this, it feels so wonderful to be owned by Her.
Mistress then had me try my new butt plugs, with lube. The small one was really comfortable and when Mistress ordered me to sit (i always kneel before Mistress), it was still comfortable. So Mistress ordered me to use the bigger plug, this was ok while i was kneeling but was uncomfortable when i sat. i could feel my ass being stretched and it ached.
Mistress then ordered me to attached the nipple clamps to my foreskin and the chain around the chair, so i could pull back and stretch my foreskin until the clamps where pulled off. This was very painful, and i repeated it 3 times to please Mistress. To suffer pain for Her is my pleasure.
After 10 mins of having the bigger plug in, Mistress ordered me to use my dildo without lube. i removed the plug and got on my back with legs spread and fucked my ass for Mistress, and i was able to do it for the fist time without lube on the dildo. my ass had been opened by the plug and was still a little lubed, so i could fuck myself for a while before it became really painful. i do not receive physical pleasure from this, my pleasure comes from obeying my Mistress. Mistress enjoys seeing my ass used and i enjoy obeying Her.
Afterwards as i knelt before Mistress, She ordered me to remove the ball gag and plug my mouth with the small butt plug. Previously to tonight i would have hesitated, but now that i am wearing Her collar i just put it in my mouth. Luckily my ass was clean and i could only taste lube, i still gaged though and it was very difficult to keep it in my mouth. i then had to do the same with the bigger butt plug and the dildo, but it did it and i felt happy that i did. i didn't enjoy it at all and gaged alot, but i obeyed Mistress and that is all the counts.
i felt proud of myself and so happy to be owned by a wonderful Mistress.
Happy Christmas Mistress xxxx
Sunday 23 December 2007
Saturday 22 December 2007
Thursday 20 December 2007
i had a great training session with Mistress tonight.
W/we started with wax training, i wore my ball gag and had a cross of wax put onto my chest, then lines of wax on my legs. It ended with wax on my nipples and then my balls where completely covered. The balls where the most painful as they are very sensitive, but it was worth it as Mistress liked my balls all yellow from the candle.
Mistress then ordered me to get the clamps, which are on a chain. i then put both clamps onto the foreskin of my cock and put the chain around the leg of a chair. Mistress then watched as i had to move back until i stretched my cock and eventually pulled the clamps off. This was very painful and made my eyes water. Next i repeated the training with the clamps on my nipples and finally on my ears. i was very happy afterwards as i had endured the pain for my Mistress and She was pleased with me :)
Mistress then allowed me to shower and remove the wax. i was then allowed to remove the ball gag and was ordered to lube my ass and the dildo. Mistress then ordered me to lie on my back with my legs spread. i then had to fuck my ass like a good slut, fats and furious. i fucked my ass as best as i could, after a few minutes my ass got very tender and quite sore but i kept going until Mistress was satisfied that i had been fucked enough.
my ass is still sore, 30 mins after the training, which is good, it reminds me of who i belong to and i am so happy that Mistress allowed me to serve Her and was happy with my performance.
W/we started with wax training, i wore my ball gag and had a cross of wax put onto my chest, then lines of wax on my legs. It ended with wax on my nipples and then my balls where completely covered. The balls where the most painful as they are very sensitive, but it was worth it as Mistress liked my balls all yellow from the candle.
Mistress then ordered me to get the clamps, which are on a chain. i then put both clamps onto the foreskin of my cock and put the chain around the leg of a chair. Mistress then watched as i had to move back until i stretched my cock and eventually pulled the clamps off. This was very painful and made my eyes water. Next i repeated the training with the clamps on my nipples and finally on my ears. i was very happy afterwards as i had endured the pain for my Mistress and She was pleased with me :)
Mistress then allowed me to shower and remove the wax. i was then allowed to remove the ball gag and was ordered to lube my ass and the dildo. Mistress then ordered me to lie on my back with my legs spread. i then had to fuck my ass like a good slut, fats and furious. i fucked my ass as best as i could, after a few minutes my ass got very tender and quite sore but i kept going until Mistress was satisfied that i had been fucked enough.
my ass is still sore, 30 mins after the training, which is good, it reminds me of who i belong to and i am so happy that Mistress allowed me to serve Her and was happy with my performance.
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